Saturday, January 8, 2011

About me and Random Rambling.

 Okay, I just need to ramble and be a little random so please bear with me. I really don't know where this will go.  :D   
          I went to see Tangled today. What a fantastic movie!!!   It was much better then I expected it too be.   It was very eye popping in 3D.   Have I told you I like 3D???    Or maybe you already gathered that.     
I have been writing frequently in my journal.  I feel like my journal is a dear friend who will guard  my thoughts , dreams , desires and feelings.  Thank God for journals!!!
       I  have found some new Christian music I need to eventually get.      Have you ever felt a song you were listening to sink into your heart and speak to your soul, like it was written for  you!     Songs sooth my spirit when I'm mad . Help make me happy when I'm sad.   Give me something to dance to when I feel ecstatic and overjoyed.   Embrace my heart and heal old and new wounds.   Music is more than just music , a mere thing we listen to . To me it is a God given gift to His children.  Like a rare and precious gem entrusted to us.  I love music.
I often have bouts of depression , they can last several days , a few hours , under an hour.  They just happen and make me feel really down with , my family , my life , myself and everything in general.   They come unexpectedly and can be caused by just about everything.  A sentence someone says to me,   or just come and I can't tell you where they come from.   They make me feel insecure and unsure of everything,     I don't like being depressed as I am a happy person.
I  find the  most randomest things funny as my friends and family well know.    But, something has to be hysterical   to make me really laugh then I laugh for  ages and ages and I cry at the same time and have to wipe my eyes .   I love laughing.    Laughter is the best medicine they say.       

I have trouble verbally expressing  exactly  how I feel  to a lot of people but have no trouble  expressing myself  with a pen .      

Some days are soooooo hard to get through and I get to a stage at the end of the day where I don't really want to be touched and need to curl up in a ball in the dark and just feel quiet.    Are any of you the same?      Its surprising that I like curling up in the dark to calm down and feel better, as one of my few phobias is  Nyctophobia  .    a fear of the dark .  I shall list  my phobias here for your interest:       

Nyctophobia.   A fear of the dark.
                      Arachnophobia.  Fear of spiders.Not as bad as it used to be though, thankfully.
                                                        Haptephobia.   A fear of being touched. Wikipedia says it is   "an acute exaggeration of the normal tendencies to protect one's personal space, expressed as a fear of contamination or of the invasion, and extending even to people whom its sufferers know well."   And   Claustrophobia.   A fear of small confined spaces.     
You would have to be really close to me to know my phobias as I follow a quote from ' The Princess Diaries"  movies.           
"Courage is not the absence of fear . But, rather the judgment that something is more important , then fear."        I will often hide my deep emotions from others  until   I break down or carefully, slowly, deliberately and  delicately tell them how I 'm feeling.

I'm not exactly sure why I am like this . I just am  God made me this way and i thank Him for doing so and making me , me.   This has been very tough for me to write, I have opened my heart  and told you some stuff not really well known about me .  Stuff I would not willingly tell you but, I believe in being sincere so I am telling you more about myself.  I hope you can relate to something about me.



Vellvin said...

I share a lot of the same phobias.
Don't I?
Tangled was really, super dupely AWESOME!!!

iGirl said...

Wow, that's really cool that you shared that! I can relate to you in someways, like wanting to curl up in a ball sometimes. And normally I'm a happy person. Thanks for writing this post, I tend to like blogs better when I know more about the authors. :)

Elyse said...

Hi there, Autumn! Lovely blog you have here. I found you via Empowered Traditionalist. We seem to like a lot of the same movies and books, so I thought I'd drop a quick line and say hello!

Autumn said...

Vellvin: you are my sis we should share a lot of the same things.
iGirl: Thanks for commenting! I love comments!
Elyse: Thanks for commenting! I am now following your blog. It looks great!
~ Autumn